Dreamer

Since I made the decision last year to move to Chicago, the most common question I get is "Are you afraid"? and the answer I give is more like a reflex..."No I'm not". But that got me thinking...why do I say it so quickly and am I really not afraid? I'm not a super woman so I know I have fear in me...what am I afraid of?

I'm afraid of NOT moving. I don't want to one day look back at my life and say to myself "you should have went". I refuse to live a life of regret and this is one decision that if I don't follow through with, I will regret it for the rest of my life. Simply put its not like I’m following through with a decision that I made. Its that I’m being pulled into a life that I was made for. What exactly that entails is not clear to me yet but what is clear is that I’m at the cusp of something big in my life and I can’t… I won’t let something as little as “fear” hold me back from living the life I was created for. I know this to be true Chicago is not my final destination…its just the launching pad to something further in my life.

I’m a dreamer…I was created that way. And because of decisions that I made when I was young it altered my life. Now I’m coming full circle and the “door” is open for me… I must walk through it. Actually I think I’m running! Why should I fear? December 2008, while I was on my first trail race God told me that He was not taking me to Chicago to fail. October 2008, God told me that He was taking me to my promise land. January 2009, while I was spending my quiet time with Him He asked me what I wanted…and I shared my heart to Him. So why would I fear…anything? He is leading me and I am more than willing to follow. I’m a dreamer…He created me that way.

When I say that there is nothing left for me here, that's nothing on the love I have for my family and friends, its just that I know this to be true. I must move forward!