Greener on the other side

“The grass is always greener on the other side”.

How untrue that statement is for me. For months I knew the direction of my life. After I quite my job I truly was on the “other side” and it was emotionally confusing. The grass didn’t seem greener. I didn’t feel happier nor did I feel a release to finally pursue my dreams with more intensity. I felt the complete opposite.

Why was I feeling confused, selfish and at a loss for words? I was feeling overwhelmingly intimidated by the dream. Could I really do this? Could I really succeed? And if this is from God why am I feeling this way?

I believe as Christians we secretly believe that if it is from God that the path in which He leads us to will be laced with gold and daisies. Angels will be visibly guiding us as angelic music plays and with each step we are enlightened and gaining wisdom and understanding.

In the Bible it says that David had to encourage himself in the Lord. And so that is what I am doing. Psalm 16:7 “I praise the Lord because He advises me. Even at night, I feel His leading.” Yes, He leads me. No, the feelings I have had are not gone. They are still there but I choose not to be governed by them. I choose to remember and trust the plan that God has for me and my daughters. The fact is this: the road is narrow and few will follow…but I will not turn back. I refuse to be governed by what I see or how I feel. I WILL DELIGHT MYSELF IN THE LORD!! I will push forward and place my hand in His who leads me.

I will not be shackled by confusion or a feeling of intimidation. And it is in the journey that the Lord will release the words in me like a floodgate.

Psalm 56:3 “When I am afraid, I will trust you.”