What I know…

Ps. 37:25 “I was young and now I am old, but I have never seen good people left helpless or their children begging for food.”

Hebrews 13:5-6 “For He (the Lord) Himself has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” So we may boldly say: “The Lord is my helper; I will not fear. What can man do to me?”

Luke 10:19 “Behold! I have given you authority and power….over all the power that the enemy (possesses); and nothing shall in any way harm you.”

This is what I know. This is what I stand on…the word of God…that never returns void! So why is there an excitement in me when my physical situation has not changed as far as I can see? Because God brought me here….this is His plan for my life. There is so much that I’m running towards. So many exciting things that are before my eyes playing out!

So yes, I have a job. Now lets explore that a bit. I have not worked for a grocery store since I was 18 and living in Berkeley. I have not worked for this LITTLE amount of money in over 20 years. BUT….this is what I have and I will be faithful. Lord I will do my part being faithful to my job and you will provide for every need in my home. I stand on the three scriptures on the top of this message. I STAND on your word Lord. I trust Him and He fills me with peace. How will every bill be paid for? Don’t know. How will my cupboards remain filled? Not sure. How will I get us ready for winter? I dunno. I do not fear what I don’t know because…I BELIEVE!

Matt. 17:17 “ Then Jesus answered and said, “O faithless and perverse generation, how long shall I be with you? How long shall I bear with you?...”

I believe without question that God will make a way where there is no way. I BELIEVE!

Family

I have a wonderful family/support system. From my mother, father, sister, aunts and countless cousins I am blessed. For years I felt like in some way or another my family never understood me or was holding me back, not supporting my dreams. I felt like I was the freak of the group, and I probably still am. But since moving I have realized that I come from a great group of people that I am able to call family. They love me, support my crazy dream to leave California, they pray for me and they miss me! They miss me?! I guess I never realized how much they love me. And yes I may be the freak or odd ball of the group, but I’m theirs.

Love you all very much!!

Rise Up!

This is my home this is where I belong. What is…will not always be. How fragile my faith shows itself to be. But my faith remains!

The road is different and more difficult than I had anticipated it to be. But I am not alone. The Lord has been my constant companion and faithful to fill me with His peace and knowledge that He shall supply for all my needs.

There is no giving up, no packing our belongings and saying lets go back to our family where it will be easier. That would be the easy road, the road that makes sense when you are hurting and feel overwhelmed. But that is NOT MY ROAD! So I press towards the mark…I remain and fight the good fight. Our hope endures the worst of conditions! Immanuel – God is with us, El Shaddai – All sufficient, El Roi – God who sees me, El Chaiyai – God of my life, El-Channun – Gracious God, El Sali – God of my strength, El Hannora – Awesome God!

Rise up my friend! Rise up and know that God is with us.

Psalm 25:20 “Protect me and save me, I trust you, so do not let me be disgraced.”

iPraise!

James 5:16 “….When a believing person prays, great things happen.”

Thank you Lord. Your love amazes me. Your peace and joy that fills my life strengthens each step I take. Your faithfulness is more than I deserve.

When I am weak you refresh my spirit and breathe life once again in me. When I feel weary you bring people that encourage me. You have time and time again since arriving here, have shown me this is where you want me. No one can deny this is the plan you have for me.

My “natural” eyes see what I lack, what is not. But my “spiritual” eyes see what you have done. I thank you now for that job you are giving me. I thank you now for protecting and directing my children’s lives. I thank you now for providing so that every bill is paid. I thank you that my cupboards are filled. I know its all on its way Lord! I know this because you are a faithful God. Your word says that “…You will never leave me nor forsake me.” And your word never returns void!

So I rise up from where I fell on my knees and wept, from where I fell into despair and sorrow, from where I felt myself being sucked into a hole of discouragement and disappointment. And I rise up and iPraise the One who loves me and guides me. I praise you because you are worthy to be praised. I will praise you in the valley and I will praise you on the mountain top. I will praise you when I wake in the morning and before I sleep at night.

iPraise!

Look!

Here are some pictures of Chicago. The girls and I really love it here. Its a great city and we have met some wonderful people. These pictures are of downtown and the one with Michael were at our favorite spot to buy Gelato. He told me its an area the locals have named Viagra Triangle, because younger women dress up and hook up with the older rich men. I think its funny because it really is obvious.

That Woman!

That woman is my biggest fan. She’s my constant supporter and encourager. She listens to my ideas, even when she doesn’t understand me or what I’m trying to convey. She laughs with me and most importantly keeps me in prayer…daily! That woman is my mother and I am blessed to have her in my life. I appreciate her daily calls, asking me what is happening and sharing what God is doing in her life. She listens when I explain what I’m going through or how this road the Lord has me on can be very tough. I know I will write about it but it doesn’t change the fact that God is calling me to rise above what I see and move into the realm that is calling for my faith to rise up! Easier said than done…but it will be done.

My mother. I love you and look forward to seeing you here in October.

Thank you mom…you’re the best!

Sightless

Since arriving in Chicago it has been a whirlwind. It doesn’t matter that I prayed and planned this move for a year, once leaving Modesto my life has felt like a constant shift. The ground never seemed to settle…nor have I. Once I said my good-byes to my friends and family everything has been moving, changing and adjusting. Lately I have felt sad. Not understanding what is going on or what my current position should be. First thing I knew was I had to get us here. Once that was completed it was all about getting the keys to our new home. Then we waited 6 days for the movers to deliver our belongings. In between that I was off shopping for cleaning supplies, basic necessities and food. I felt like the money was like water flowing through my hands and that concerned me. Finally our stuff arrived and it felt great to have our familiar belongings back. It took us three days to establish our new home. I have been sending my resume out and actively looking for work.

Its easy to forget why God brought me here. My main focus has been looking for work. Its easy to get discouraged and to lose hope. The last couple of days I have felt very sad. Today I had to stop….just stop. Do you know how hard it is to stop? My mind was racing with anxiety telling me that I have to find work. The money will run out and fast. That can’t happen God…I can’t stop. Not now. All the while I was losing my hope while I was rushing toward the goal. My feet stopped today. I had nothing to go forward with any longer. My joy left me and I forgot why I was here.

Forgive me Lord for forgetting how faithful you have been and continue to be. I remember it was you who gave me the desire to move and it has been YOU to open every door. You brought us here safely. You provided our new home. You arranged Michaels schedule so that he would be here with me the first two weeks so I wouldn’t freak out and get frustrated. You brought me here…and it wasn’t to fail! Forgive me for forgetting. You ask that I have faith the size of a mustard seed. That is what I have and I give it to you.

Ps. 30:11 “You changed my sorrow into dancing. You took away my clothes of sadness and clothed me in happiness.”

I see. I see the people around me. I hear them Lord. I see!