Decisions

I was at a fork in the road and I had to make a decision. So knowing I could no longer put this off I stopped what I was doing and sat on the edge of my bathtub and cried. I cried out to the Lord asking for His direction, guidance and telling Him how I’m tired of making decisions alone. So on top of this huge decision (to me) my feelings of being lonely began to spill over. I’m 38 Lord and I’ve NEVER been married! Ugh… No more big decisions alone… they are too costly and the weight of these choices weigh heavy on me, so for a good 15 maybe 30 minutes I cried and laid it all out, explaining to my Father.

There are times when I feel His presence stronger than the person who is standing next to me, and then there are times when I must stand in faith and know that He is there and He will continue to lead me. Frustrated with the situation of my personal life I believe I make it difficult to hear the voice of God. The Lord reminded me of what He shared with me before I left California. He said that there will be times that I won’t feel Him as strong as others but that He is calling me to a high place. I believe I am living that out now.

I have had enough winter (death) in my life and am more than ready to welcome in spring (life) so with faith I walk toward a new life in this city…a new home. My dear friend told me yesterday that “He is lining your life up to what He has planned for you.” Before she even said that to me that was the feeling I was having with all these changes that I am putting myself through once again. But changes that will welcome in a new season….life and life more abundantly!

So Lord open the doors and bless my efforts, lead me and I WILL follow you!

Dreams

When I find myself losing heart and wondering if I will truly achieve what I set out to accomplish I remind myself of places I've been and one day what I would like to own. My heart will always be in Italy, for many reasons that country holds a firm grip on my affections, so one day I would love to own a villa. A place I can spend writing, reading, taking long walks, taking pictures, listening to music while I bask in the beauty that surrounds that country.

So weary I may be but my dreams are alive, one day...one day soon....

Emotions

So what do you do when the rug has once again been pulled out from under you? How will you react when the direction of your life has changed and you find it difficult adjusting to your new situation? What do you do when you feel….nothing? When the lifeline you have clung to so tightly has gone silent.

I know the current events in my life are to no surprise to my Savior so why do I feel like I’m clinging to hope? There have been days when I open my bible and everything sounds Greek to me, I find myself wandering through the pages searching for inspiration, guidance, hope and promises.

I WILL NOT BE GOVEREND BY MY EMOTIONS!

The facts are as so:

He loves me.
He died for me and rose on the third day.
He created me with a purpose.
He has a plan for my life.
He will never leave me nor forsake me.

When my new situation occurred I asked the Lord, “Really?” I thought I had proven my faith, trust and ability to follow your guidance. But could I do it again? The answer is always YES. Yes I will follow you, yes I will wait on you, yes I will always trust Your plan and YES I believe and always believe in what you are doing in and through me. You are my breath of fresh air; you are my noon day sun.

Even when it feels like death surrounds you. Death in your finances, relationships, hope, faith and future know that "Sunday" will always come. There will always be a resurrection in the areas of our lives that we feel have died or grown dormant as long as we hold on to His word.

Resurrection Sunday is just around the corner…you must hold on to His promises, keep the faith and know a rebirth is coming!

Isaiah 65:24 “I will provide for their needs before they ask, and I will help them while they are still asking for help.”

Isaiah 66:7, 9 “A woman does not give birth before she feels the pain; she does not give birth to a son before the pain starts.” “In the same way I will not cause pain without allowing something new to be born, says the Lord.”