I have enjoyed a couple of days off of work and have used that time to refocus. Shaking off the daze and planting my feet on the ground, ready to accomplish the reason I set out and moved here. So in honor of my sister I "made a list". This would please her so since she is a huge fan of Lists.
1. Answer Michael's emails regarding our business
2. research how to turn my blog into a book
3. music schools
4. what road will I choose for getting my degree in English/Latin
5. learning Italian/French
I'm so excited about the opportunities that are coming to us regarding our new travel business. As I was making the list and then conducting my research on each topic I grew more and more excited. I was partially excited because my daughter Sarah finally started school today and I'm looking forward to hearing all about her day. Yes! We can say this is our home...this is our life.
My family will be visiting next week and I'm looking forward to that visit. Its a wonderful feeling to realize that your life is really happening. No longer planning for things to take place but now living it. Moving forward with each plan and accomplishing them. Along the way realizing that there are some amazing people in this fantastic world of ours who are just as enthusiastic about seeing you accomplish your goals as you are.
This is it!
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Remember
The dust is still settling in my new life here in Chicago. I’m trying to create some familiarities but I’ve been struggling. It’s been an inward battle.
One evening when I was walking to my place I ran into a good friend of mine. We sat on her patio and talked, it felt good to share the recent events of my life and listen to her wonderful stories. I can listen to this woman for hours. She was sharing a time when she was working as a waitress and how much she hated that job. As she was telling her story I felt like she was looking into my life. Miss Venice told how she would become physically sick before going to work and how she would cry at night after work. As we sat on her patio and shared a fruit tart she encouraged me and reminded me that there is a reason I’m working where I am. Who knows what could happen out here, I might meet someone who will one day publish my book or someone who will use my new up and coming travel business. She reminded me how the possibilities are endless but that I’m here for a reason. Miss Venice….your friendship is a great treasure to me in this new and odd city of which I’m trying to call my home.
I’m learning that when you are physically worn down its hard to remember the direction in which you are heading towards. On my way home two days ago from a hard, long days work I put on Andrea Bocelli. My head was pounding! My body was tired and I couldn’t stop the tears. I’m so tired Lord….I’m so tired. As I drove home the music played and I remembered….ITALY! That’s where I’m going. That’s where I’m heading…Chicago was only my launching pad to get me to Italy.
Ahhh….the music played and I remembered.
I won’t always be this tired. There is a process in achieving your goals…and it’s not for the faint hearted.
I remembered!
One evening when I was walking to my place I ran into a good friend of mine. We sat on her patio and talked, it felt good to share the recent events of my life and listen to her wonderful stories. I can listen to this woman for hours. She was sharing a time when she was working as a waitress and how much she hated that job. As she was telling her story I felt like she was looking into my life. Miss Venice told how she would become physically sick before going to work and how she would cry at night after work. As we sat on her patio and shared a fruit tart she encouraged me and reminded me that there is a reason I’m working where I am. Who knows what could happen out here, I might meet someone who will one day publish my book or someone who will use my new up and coming travel business. She reminded me how the possibilities are endless but that I’m here for a reason. Miss Venice….your friendship is a great treasure to me in this new and odd city of which I’m trying to call my home.
I’m learning that when you are physically worn down its hard to remember the direction in which you are heading towards. On my way home two days ago from a hard, long days work I put on Andrea Bocelli. My head was pounding! My body was tired and I couldn’t stop the tears. I’m so tired Lord….I’m so tired. As I drove home the music played and I remembered….ITALY! That’s where I’m going. That’s where I’m heading…Chicago was only my launching pad to get me to Italy.
Ahhh….the music played and I remembered.
I won’t always be this tired. There is a process in achieving your goals…and it’s not for the faint hearted.
I remembered!
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
The Meantime
A little over a week and a half I have been dealing with some emotions that I couldn’t place. Besides being physically tired from a job that I haven’t performed since I was 18, I honestly wasn’t in a mood to deal with much.
So let me explain.
Have you ever known that something great is awaiting you? Have you ever just known that great things were not too far from presenting themselves to you? It’s an exciting feeling and time to know that this is your season to reap the harvest. It’s a time for your barrels to be filled.
So here I am with my two daughters. We moved from California to Chicago. I gave it all up and trusted the Lords guidance. I got our place and settled us in. Then started looking for work, and continued to look for work, and continued…. WOW! Still looking, went to a couple of interviews and felt good about them but nothing!
FINALLY something opens up and it’s not what I wanted…but its something. Got my first week of work in and realized how much I hate this job. Oh my goodness. God you have to open other doors. First of all the pay will not even take care of the basic needs of my home. Winter is coming and I’m not ready. Second, I hate this work! My body is aching, my head is killing me and I have had a stiff neck since my first day on the job!!
Do you know that there was one day as I was getting ready that I just cried? I didn’t want to go. I didn’t want to do this. But I had no choice; there was no other way that I was going to make money other than going to work…to a job I hated!
I knew God had not abandoned me but I didn’t understand. I was so exhausted that I would come home to fall asleep shortly after. I lost my joy…I was too tired to be happy. Finally on my day off I prayed and told the Lord that I knew He didn’t bring me here to work in a deli. I knew something big was about to happen and asked Him to give me the physical strength to be faithful to the job He has opened for me. Yes, I continue to send out my resume and I know that this job is only for a season. So I’m not fighting it any longer, this is my job.
This is what I have learned so far from this experience. As Christians we understand that life has its “seasons”. We have experienced all of them in our life at one point or another. Who doesn’t love a season of spring or summer? It’s a time when we feel Gods light shining on our lives and we feel blessed. There is an easy flow in that season; it’s a time of rest. And it is meant to be enjoyed to the fullest. But even in our seasons of fall and winter when our lives are being pruned and purified it too has a blessed time. For me even though it’s a tough season, I grow in my relationship with the Lord.
I’m in a season I call “The Meantime”. I’m understanding it the longer I’m in it. Here I was standing on the Word of God asking Him to part my red sea, to be big in my situation. Here I am God I believe and know you will come through!!!
DO IT NOW!
I acted like He is a magician and with a wave of His wand all will be fixed.
I now understand that this is my season to be in….the meantime. Do I still feel like greatness awaits me? Most defiantly I do! Do I know that God has great plans in store for me? Yes I do and I know that they will come to pass. But this is my season and I will bless the Lord in all I do!
My God is with me every step of the way. He is my God of the Valley and Mountain Top…and He is with me in the meantime….
So let me explain.
Have you ever known that something great is awaiting you? Have you ever just known that great things were not too far from presenting themselves to you? It’s an exciting feeling and time to know that this is your season to reap the harvest. It’s a time for your barrels to be filled.
So here I am with my two daughters. We moved from California to Chicago. I gave it all up and trusted the Lords guidance. I got our place and settled us in. Then started looking for work, and continued to look for work, and continued…. WOW! Still looking, went to a couple of interviews and felt good about them but nothing!
FINALLY something opens up and it’s not what I wanted…but its something. Got my first week of work in and realized how much I hate this job. Oh my goodness. God you have to open other doors. First of all the pay will not even take care of the basic needs of my home. Winter is coming and I’m not ready. Second, I hate this work! My body is aching, my head is killing me and I have had a stiff neck since my first day on the job!!
Do you know that there was one day as I was getting ready that I just cried? I didn’t want to go. I didn’t want to do this. But I had no choice; there was no other way that I was going to make money other than going to work…to a job I hated!
I knew God had not abandoned me but I didn’t understand. I was so exhausted that I would come home to fall asleep shortly after. I lost my joy…I was too tired to be happy. Finally on my day off I prayed and told the Lord that I knew He didn’t bring me here to work in a deli. I knew something big was about to happen and asked Him to give me the physical strength to be faithful to the job He has opened for me. Yes, I continue to send out my resume and I know that this job is only for a season. So I’m not fighting it any longer, this is my job.
This is what I have learned so far from this experience. As Christians we understand that life has its “seasons”. We have experienced all of them in our life at one point or another. Who doesn’t love a season of spring or summer? It’s a time when we feel Gods light shining on our lives and we feel blessed. There is an easy flow in that season; it’s a time of rest. And it is meant to be enjoyed to the fullest. But even in our seasons of fall and winter when our lives are being pruned and purified it too has a blessed time. For me even though it’s a tough season, I grow in my relationship with the Lord.
I’m in a season I call “The Meantime”. I’m understanding it the longer I’m in it. Here I was standing on the Word of God asking Him to part my red sea, to be big in my situation. Here I am God I believe and know you will come through!!!
DO IT NOW!
I acted like He is a magician and with a wave of His wand all will be fixed.
I now understand that this is my season to be in….the meantime. Do I still feel like greatness awaits me? Most defiantly I do! Do I know that God has great plans in store for me? Yes I do and I know that they will come to pass. But this is my season and I will bless the Lord in all I do!
My God is with me every step of the way. He is my God of the Valley and Mountain Top…and He is with me in the meantime….
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Friday, September 11, 2009
Tired
Hi everyone!
I know it has been a while since I have posted anything but I have been adjusting to my new job and I'm really tired. Its not the job I want but I am grateful to be working. God continues to show me His faithfulness. But you know when your physically exhausted its hard to show enthusiasm for anything else. I'm really trying to "adjust" as quickly as possible. But I hold on to the fact that I won't always work here and that this is only for a "season"...God has bigger plans for my life I just need to be faithful to what I do have.
On the upside of things is that now that I'm working I feel like I'm earning my right to live in this city...and that feels good. Michael and I are starting our own business together and will be up and running by mid-Jan so I will keep everyone posted. God has truly had His hand in that and we are seeing God open doors and bring us amazing contacts. We know this is all part of His plan and we are very excited!
Well I have to go....
Love to you all.... oh by the way my girls and doing great! They really love living here and have jumped in with both feet. But I wouldn't have expected anything less from them. Serena has really stepped up and I'm so proud of her. I also see wonderful opportunities for my Sarah.
I know it has been a while since I have posted anything but I have been adjusting to my new job and I'm really tired. Its not the job I want but I am grateful to be working. God continues to show me His faithfulness. But you know when your physically exhausted its hard to show enthusiasm for anything else. I'm really trying to "adjust" as quickly as possible. But I hold on to the fact that I won't always work here and that this is only for a "season"...God has bigger plans for my life I just need to be faithful to what I do have.
On the upside of things is that now that I'm working I feel like I'm earning my right to live in this city...and that feels good. Michael and I are starting our own business together and will be up and running by mid-Jan so I will keep everyone posted. God has truly had His hand in that and we are seeing God open doors and bring us amazing contacts. We know this is all part of His plan and we are very excited!
Well I have to go....
Love to you all.... oh by the way my girls and doing great! They really love living here and have jumped in with both feet. But I wouldn't have expected anything less from them. Serena has really stepped up and I'm so proud of her. I also see wonderful opportunities for my Sarah.
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Never Late
Ps. 62:1 “I find rest in God; only He can save me.”
v.5 “…only He gives me hope.”
I had two choices.
I’m waiting for God to be BIG in my situation. I feel like I’m waiting for my “red sea” to part, my big miracle to happen. And just when you think “this is how God will make it happen” and when it doesn’t you can feel frustrated, angry and sad. Thinking “Really God?” how much more can I do this? I could have stayed in that state of mind, but it wasn’t one that I enjoyed. In that place I was feeling agitated, I didn’t want to be reminded of scriptures. I DO BELIEVE! Stop telling me that is what I need to continue doing. I don’t see you walking by faith and trusting God like I have been. Stop preaching to the choir, I know all of that, I just can’t believe I could fail out here when I was obedient and trusted His plan. I don’t know….
I felt that way for about a good 15 minutes.
It wasn’t a place that I wanted to stay….so I chose the other.
I may not be a mighty warrior whose armor and weapons are visible. I may not be able to charge my enemy with sword in hand as I run towards the battle. My weapon is my voice. So I will use what God has given me. I stood on the Word of God. Where it does not return void, you are the same God who delivered the Israelites from their oppressor the Egyptians, you delivered Daniel from a den of lions, you allowed David to defeat Goliath and you will come through for me and the needs of my home. “For I have never seen the righteous forsaken….” “If God be for me than whom shall I fear?” “Faith without works is dead”! I serve a big God. Do you know why in Bible times there were so many miracles? Why in third world countries we still see demons cast out, the blind given sight, the lame to walk again? It’s because there is no plan B. There is only God. So…I have no plan B my friends because I don’t need it. I have the Almighty God working on my behalf. Until then I will be a blessing to others. If there is a need and I can fill it then I will do so. If I can be a listening ear to those who need someone to hear them, then I’m there. For when we refresh others then in turn we ourselves are refreshed.
My weapon is my voice! I will sing of Gods goodness all the days of my life. I will sing a melody of His faithful love towards me. I will bless the Lord oh my soul….
My God is never late…He’s always on time!
v.5 “…only He gives me hope.”
I had two choices.
I’m waiting for God to be BIG in my situation. I feel like I’m waiting for my “red sea” to part, my big miracle to happen. And just when you think “this is how God will make it happen” and when it doesn’t you can feel frustrated, angry and sad. Thinking “Really God?” how much more can I do this? I could have stayed in that state of mind, but it wasn’t one that I enjoyed. In that place I was feeling agitated, I didn’t want to be reminded of scriptures. I DO BELIEVE! Stop telling me that is what I need to continue doing. I don’t see you walking by faith and trusting God like I have been. Stop preaching to the choir, I know all of that, I just can’t believe I could fail out here when I was obedient and trusted His plan. I don’t know….
I felt that way for about a good 15 minutes.
It wasn’t a place that I wanted to stay….so I chose the other.
I may not be a mighty warrior whose armor and weapons are visible. I may not be able to charge my enemy with sword in hand as I run towards the battle. My weapon is my voice. So I will use what God has given me. I stood on the Word of God. Where it does not return void, you are the same God who delivered the Israelites from their oppressor the Egyptians, you delivered Daniel from a den of lions, you allowed David to defeat Goliath and you will come through for me and the needs of my home. “For I have never seen the righteous forsaken….” “If God be for me than whom shall I fear?” “Faith without works is dead”! I serve a big God. Do you know why in Bible times there were so many miracles? Why in third world countries we still see demons cast out, the blind given sight, the lame to walk again? It’s because there is no plan B. There is only God. So…I have no plan B my friends because I don’t need it. I have the Almighty God working on my behalf. Until then I will be a blessing to others. If there is a need and I can fill it then I will do so. If I can be a listening ear to those who need someone to hear them, then I’m there. For when we refresh others then in turn we ourselves are refreshed.
My weapon is my voice! I will sing of Gods goodness all the days of my life. I will sing a melody of His faithful love towards me. I will bless the Lord oh my soul….
My God is never late…He’s always on time!
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Walking Backwards
Have you ever felt like you were going in the wrong direction?
Well I recently felt that way. Clearly knowing I’m in the will of God but feeling like I took a couple of steps in the wrong direction. I thought to myself “Really?” I wondered what I had done wrong to have to take these steps that I felt were in a direction I had no desire to go.
God’s peace is unshakeable. Unquestionable. And so I continued in a direction that I didn’t want to go…but I trust the One who leads me. I see my situation and know that God will provide for every need. He is my God and I trust Him! What a liberation that has been. I walk in peace. I live comforted knowing that God is guiding me to my “promise land”. So who or what shall I fear? If God be for me…. You know the verse! Now live it!
Sure there are times in our lives that we feel in a way, which words fail us. We just throw our hands up and say “I don’t know”. I’m sure we have all questioned our lives and what has become of it. We could be frustrated with the position of our jobs, finances, marriage or not being in a relationship that leads to marriage. The list goes on…you get my point. But the thing of it is, if God is leading you then know that His plan is far greater than yours could ever be.
So, yes I was humbled and uncertain for a moment regarding my direction. But ultimately all I want is EVERYTHING God has planned for me. So I spent time in prayer. At first I stumbled and felt like my prayers where bouncing off the ceiling. Then silence…..I sat….in His presence. I cried and emptied my thoughts and feelings to the Lord. I sat silently and allowed Him to give me the courage to continue on the path He has placed me on. Peace filled me.
To others it might seem like we are walking backwards. But they just don’t understand…cause…. IT’S A GOD THING!
Well I recently felt that way. Clearly knowing I’m in the will of God but feeling like I took a couple of steps in the wrong direction. I thought to myself “Really?” I wondered what I had done wrong to have to take these steps that I felt were in a direction I had no desire to go.
God’s peace is unshakeable. Unquestionable. And so I continued in a direction that I didn’t want to go…but I trust the One who leads me. I see my situation and know that God will provide for every need. He is my God and I trust Him! What a liberation that has been. I walk in peace. I live comforted knowing that God is guiding me to my “promise land”. So who or what shall I fear? If God be for me…. You know the verse! Now live it!
Sure there are times in our lives that we feel in a way, which words fail us. We just throw our hands up and say “I don’t know”. I’m sure we have all questioned our lives and what has become of it. We could be frustrated with the position of our jobs, finances, marriage or not being in a relationship that leads to marriage. The list goes on…you get my point. But the thing of it is, if God is leading you then know that His plan is far greater than yours could ever be.
So, yes I was humbled and uncertain for a moment regarding my direction. But ultimately all I want is EVERYTHING God has planned for me. So I spent time in prayer. At first I stumbled and felt like my prayers where bouncing off the ceiling. Then silence…..I sat….in His presence. I cried and emptied my thoughts and feelings to the Lord. I sat silently and allowed Him to give me the courage to continue on the path He has placed me on. Peace filled me.
To others it might seem like we are walking backwards. But they just don’t understand…cause…. IT’S A GOD THING!
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