Vitamin D

I’m not a person who has ever struggled with depression so when I was told about the “winter blues” that happens out here, I figured I wouldn’t have an issue with it. I thought I was above all of that. And of course I was wrong….dreadfully wrong! It hits you out of no where.

The first week of snow my daughters and I love it, thinking how beautiful the city looks covered by this soft white substance. Then weeks go by and it’s still snowing and COLD! A cold I had never experienced, it cuts right through you and no matter how much I try to layer on the clothes its still COLD! Soon enough I find myself not wanting to go outside unless I must and of course the majority of the time…I must. I notice I become edgy and not very friendly. I just want to get whatever I need done and hurry back home where it is warm. Then gloominess sets in and I’m feeling unmotivated to do anything…that’s right anything. I take a good hard look and need to figure out what is going on.

After speaking with some friends I find out I’m experiencing the winter blues. They suggest I take vitamin D. Next day I’m at GNC picking up not only vitamin D but vitamin C a multi-vitamin and fish oil. Aware of my mental and emotional state I start doing what I can to get myself out of this rut.

I daily take my vitamins, eat well and despite the fact that its crazy cold outside I get some exercise. I bought a funny travel book about women’s mishaps while on the road. It’s a great book! I listen to upbeat music, music that inspires me and takes me to places I have been and those I have yet to discover. I keep my mind looking ahead. Valentines Day, my BIRTHDAY (3/17), Spring, the sun shining on my face, wearing sundresses again and doing what my soul desires most….traveling!

So my friends… Vitamin D….its a must!

His Voice

Knowing His voice has to be the most important thing to me. Years ago I struggled not hearing His voice and knowing many friends and family who were familiar with it. I questioned everything because I didn’t know it at that point. Frustrated with this I one day decided I too will hear Him. This occurred at a time when I felt like the “bottom” of my life had been pulled out and I was grasping for something to hang on to. My relationship deepened with the Lord and I was determined to know and be familiar with Him.

And then I heard it. Clear as ever I knew it was His voice and He was speaking to me. Before moving to Chicago He told me what to expect and my dear friend Becky told me to write it down. I’m glad I did because when I find myself frustrated, confused or down I go back and read all that the Lord shared and I remember that He was preparing me back then for all I’m experiencing now. With that, strength fills me and I know my path is as it should be and I’m OK.

Recently the Lord told me to do something. At first I was shocked, and then I said OK Lord I will. I asked if I would be hurt and He told me I wouldn’t. He asked if I trust Him. Yes Lord I do. I have been obedient to what His requests had been that night and peace fills me. Do I know how all of this will play out? No. But I know that God is in control and my trust lies with Him. He told me certain things will occur and I may not know the details or how it will happen but that’s none of my concern. I was asked if I trusted Him, and YES I do.

I can be without my friends and family. I can be apart from all that is familiar. My life can take twists and turns that challenge me and I may question the purpose of some situations. But one thing I'm certain is that I cannot live without my Father, my Lord, my guide, comforter and my confidant. My time…my quiet time with the Lord, wherever it may occur is the most precious to me.

Zephaniah 3:17 “The Lord your God is with you; the mighty One will save you. He will rejoice over you. You will rest in His love; He will sing and be joyful about you.”

Pressed Down….

Have you ever felt like you were being pressed from every corner? I move right and I’m pressed, turn left and pressed again and just when I move forward I’m pressed down.

I couldn’t stop the tears from flowing and I couldn’t get to my knees fast enough. Broken I fell and cried out…but words failed me. As the tears continued to flow I laid it down at the alter and surrendered my heart, life, dreams and will knowing that it will only be the Lord who can make it ALL come to pass. “Is my life not pleasing to you Lord?” “Have I offended you?” “How much more can I be pressed down?” “How much more must I be broken?”

I trust you Lord!! I don’t understand why it has been so difficult and I don’t know why I feel like I’m standing on quicksand, but I will declare day after day that I TRUST YOU!

I couldn’t pull myself off the floor, as I knelt down continuing to feel the tears flow I realized this: As I’m waiting I will praise you! I am not defeated. 2 Cor. 12:9 “…My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness” You will give me my hearts desires…because you love me. Ps. 84:11 “… no good thing does He withhold from those whose walk is blameless.”

I am a warrior. We are all warriors, those who trust the Lord and pursue a passionate life beyond all that they could have ever dreamt or imagined. But while I feel pressed, crushed and broken I don’t think I resemble a mighty warrior. Where are my weapons? I honestly don’t think I have any. I only posses this unfailing trust that the Lord is in control, that He is leading me on the path that He has chosen for me and …. I will follow Him! My face isn’t beautiful. Tears streak my face and my eyes are swollen but I lift my head to the sky and pray that His Glory shine on me.

So as I face each giant on my path I know I am not alone and that He will equip me to defeat and conquer every giant that stands in my way.

I trust My Dream Giver!